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What if I’m not really alone, even if I sometimes feel alone? We naturally feel greater safety, security, and strength when we are connected with a healthy tribe. When we feel disconnected from others, we feel more vulnerable because we are relying solely on our individual strengths and resources. So many of the challenges we face as individuals are part of greater collective issues that demand collaboration to be effectively addressed. When we feel like we are going it alone, we often really don’t have the resources or answers we need. One powerful key to shifting the illusion of “not enough" is to reach out for support, collaboration, and any other resources you need. Simply thinking about a situation in new ways can be a powerful catalyst for transformation. Here are a few questions to inspire you:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thank you for participating in this course for the last fourteen days. It has been great to have the opportunity to share these perspectives and practices with you so far. If you would like to continue on with this process of inquiry, please let me know by sending an email to ariana.garrett@gmail.com. With big love, Ariana Step Thirteen: Staying SafeWhat is the unconscious pay off for holding on to my "not enough" story? Part of letting it go of the internal story of “not enough” is discovering why you have held on to it in the first place. These internal stories are often an unconscious strategy to help us feel safe. If you feel like you’re “not enough”, then not going for what you want keeps you from facing the possibility of failing, or looking stupid, or being laughed at or ridiculed. Sometimes we would rather stay in known territory, rather than take risks that might lead to painful feelings. The irony of this unconscious strategy is that we end up being boxed in by these fears anyway.
Loving you, Ariana Step Twelve: Discover and Embrace Your Own Vision and IntentionWhat would your vision be if you are enough, right now? A vital key to stepping out of this crazy making issue is to give up striving for someone else’s ideals. Instead, embrace our own vision. Your path will always be unique, and uniquely suited to your gifts, interests, purpose, and values.
Do you want to develop a particular quality? Learn to share more love and kindness with everyone you meet? Become more consistent with your self care? Have a better relationship with your beloved or your children? Unleash your creativity? Increase your income? Make a new friend? Choose one area in which you sometimes feel “not enough”. Take a look at the big picture of where you want to be in the long run. Define a clear vision in this area that is exciting and natural to you. Once you have a clear vision, clarify your intention in that particular area while keeping the larger vision in mind. At this point, don't be concerned about what action you may need to take to empower this intention. If you simply take the next step just ahead, the rest of the steps will become apparent as you move forward. When writing your intention, concentrate on the experience you would like to have in your life, rather then the outer form you think will get you there. For instance, rather than focusing on losing ten pounds, let your intention be about the experience you think you will have if you loose ten pounds. “My intention is to feel healthy, fit, confident, and sexy in my body.” Write down your intention in this form: “My intention is …………….” Say your intention each morning for the next month, allowing it to build momentum within you. The simple act of embracing a clear intention is a powerful catalyst for change that activates creative and empowering energy within and all around you. Let the magic begin! With love, Ariana ~Share your insights and experiences below in the comments section... Step Eleven: Turn Envy Into InspirationWhat if I turned envy into inspiration? It is easy to look around and see others who appear to be more accomplished than we are. Especially when social media plays a dominant role in so many people’s social sphere. Constantly being reminded of the seemingly stellar accomplishments of others on a regular basis can certainly be intimidating. It can also fan the flames of envy and jealousy. For most people, this reaction doesn’t show up as raging emotion, but as a more subtle undercurrent of discontent. What if the accomplishments of others could be inspiration, rather than something that triggers envy or jealousy? There will always be someone who outshines you in some way. What if you allow the talents and accomplishments of others to be your inspiration for clarifying and taking your next step, rather than evidence that you are inadequate? Take some time to answer the questions below.
Honoring you and your unique brilliance, Ariana ~Share your insights and experiences below in the comments section... Step Ten: Meridian TappingWhat if there was a rapid and effective way to clear the patterns associated with "not enough"? So far, we’ve looked at and questioned the way “not enough” shows up in your life. Now is the time to go deeper into the clearing process by release stuck energy related to this issue. When energy begins to move in new ways the powerful evolutionary force that is present in all life, including your very own psyche, can more easily work its transformative magic. We don’t have to heal or change anything! We can simply restore movement to an area that has solidified into a habitual pattern that isn’t particularly fulfilling. Movement is the key. When movement is restored, life will evolve, change, grow and create quite naturally, with or without our conscious effort. We simply speed up or slow down that natural process of growth and transformation by our willingness to let go of what we are currently experiencing. By letting go of what has already manifested, we create the space for evolution do what it does naturally… create a new and improved form that carries more light. The thoughts, feelings, and actions related to “not enough” definitely inhibit our capacity to shine. We’ll be working with a powerful energy psychology clearing process called Meridian Tapping. Think of the stuck patterns associated with “not enough” as blockage in the energy flow through your subtle bodies. The blockages are like crimps in an electrical cord that inhibit the free flow of electrical energy. When you do this clearing process, you are restoring the flow of energy through your subtle and physical bodies, which creates optimum conditions for growth and authentic, creative, full-bodied living. These kind of energy psychology processes are highly effective, and they often spark rapid transformation. It is also great to know these kind of energy psychology techniques have been tested by researchers in recent years. In over 60 randomized controlled studies published in peer reviewed journals, energy psychology techniques have resulted in positive results 96% of the time. So, if you feel silly doing this process, just remember that the odds are in your favor. :-) If you have had enough of “not enough”, this step can help you let go and grow much faster. Click on the audio below to be guided through this process. With big love, Ariana ~Share your insights and experiences below in the comments section... Step Nine: What If...What if I really am enough? Simply asking questions begins to break down the negativity around the beliefs and habitual thought patterns that are at the core of the “not enough” story you have written. As you answer each of the following questions as honestly as possible, the old thoughts and feelings become less rigid, and new insights and understanding then emerge naturally. Be sure to take the time to really answer each question. What if….
You will begin to feel lighter and brighter after answering these questions as a layer of self imposed illusion clears. It is powerful to remember that we are each our own liberator. Tomorrow we’ll begin to take a deeper look at the emotions associated with “not enough”. Until then, holding you in the heart of love, Ariana ~Share your insights and experiences below in the comments section... Step Eight: Integration TimeReview, Rest, and Integrate It’s time to review and integrate the work you have done so far. This is a great day to go over any of the steps you may have missed, and read over all of the previous steps in the course. Tomorrow we’ll begin a cycle of clearing processes. You will have the opportunity to go deeper into what you have discovered about the way “not enough” shows up in your life. It’s time to actively engage in rewriting your “not enough” story so that it begins to expose, celebrate, and empower your unique value and brilliance. With love, Ariana ~Share your insights and experiences below in the comments section... Step Seven: Releasing Inner TensionWhere does “not enough” live in my body? Tension in the physical body represents a block in energy flow. When energy flows freely within, we feel happy, healthy, engaged, and vitalized. Energy blockages create disease, emotional reactivity, and repetitive fear-based thinking. Blocked energy flow is at the heart of all unhealthy, depleting experiences. One of the simplest, most effective ways to realign energy blockages is to be fully present with tension that manifests in the physical body. Our tendency is to turn away from the tension and blockages because they are often associated with the emotional or physical pain that accompanied the original experience that created the blockage in the first place.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This exercise is a great way to unwind tension that may be anchoring feelings and thoughts associated with “not enough”: Sit quietly, close your eyes, and find any inner points of tension related to feeling inadequate. When you think of not being good enough, or having enough, where do you feel it in your body? Does your stomach feel tight? Do your shoulders ache? Does your jaw tighten? Dive into each area of tension, simply being as aware and present as possible. With each in-breathe become more present with the tension. Breathe into each area, one at a time. Notice any sensations, feelings, thoughts, or memories that come to your attention. Resist the impulse to turn away from any discomfort, allowing yourself to deeply feel each area of tension for a few minutes. Next, send love and acceptance to each point of tension. One of the first steps to healing anything is fully loving and accepting it. Practice allowing your experience to simply be, rather than trying to change it, fix it, or deny it. Every experience in our lives has a purpose and a reason for being there. The more we love and accept everything, not matter how hard or uncomfortable it is, the more we make peace with it and create the conditions most conducive to its natural evolution. With love, Ariana ~Share your insights and experiences below in the comments section... Step Six: Honoring Your Super PowersWhat are my super powers? Over the past few day, we have been getting up close and personal with the way “not enough” shows up in your life. Simply being honest about the internal stories you have created and the evidence you have used to validate those stories begins to diminish their power. It is a bit like finally diving into that cluttered closet you have been meaning to clean out for years. The simple act of opening the closet door brings light inside so you can begin to declutter, toss out, and clean up what is no longer appropriate to hold on to in its current form. Today we are going to switch gears and look at the ways you naturally shine. In what areas of your life do you feel capable and confident? What do you do well? We often invalidate our capacities and assets, rather than claim them as truly being super powers. Are you smart, organized, and compassionate, and yet conveniently ignore these very real assets and pretend you are “not enough”? Are you a behind the scenes support person and invalidate this because you get little public acknowledgment for these capacities? Are you accomplished in your career, yet let the challenges in your relationships eclipse your business savy and success? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Being real about the fullness of who you are is a powerful antidote to being overwhelmed by feelings and stories of “not enough.” Ready to dive in to a warm bath of self love and acknowledgement? Make a list for each of these questions:
When you are done with your list, read over it a few times, deeply acknowledging the depth and fullness of who you really are. Recognize that it is time for you to begin creating a new, more authentic life story. Honoring your unique brilliance, Ariana ~Share your insights and experiences below in the comments section... Step Five: This is a Spiritual Issue as Well as a Psychological OneWhat if I fully embraced my own sacred nature, with no part left out? The issue of “not enough” is a spiritual issue as much as it is a psychological one. The feeling and thoughts related to “not enough” have their root in a collective consciousness that is base on a paradigm of duality. In this world view, everything and every part of us is somewhere on the spectrum of good/bad, black/white, right/wrong, and most significantly spiritual/material. The spiritual world is thought be inherently good, while the material realms are inherently bad. Even if you don’t really believe this, our collective consciousness has been so conditioned by this kind of dualistic thinking, we often remain trapped in it despite knowing better. Many of the world’s religious traditions have deeply conditioned the collective consciousness in ways that make it hard to even see the illusory nature of this dualistic way of thinking, much less free ourselves from it. We internalize this dualistic perspective and then identify with it, consciously and/or unconsciously thinking we are good/bad, black/white, right/wrong, spiritual/material, etc. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If we free ourselves from the strictly dualistic perspective and really get that all life really is sacred, and all experiences are divine, the perspective of “not enough” and its accompanying baggage disappears in the blink of an eye. We can then see that some experiences have a positive, life expanding effect and others create contraction and pain, but all are part of the divine creative breath. The experiences we call bad and wrong and try to avoid at all cost are often the very ones that eventually lead us to embodying greater love, compassion and acceptance of ourselves and others. Today is the day to remember that every part of you, and everyone else, is truly divine. How would you feel if you could throughly and completely get that you are sacred, through and through, including all of your rough spots and all the “evidence” you have accumulated that proves otherwise? Holding you in the light of love, Ariana ~Share your insights and experiences below in the comments section... Step Four: It's about Progress, Not PerfectionWhat if I don’t need to be perfect? How often does the voice of “not enough” whisper that you should be doing more, better? How often does the perfectionist within rear its head and invalidate your accomplishments because they aren’t quite perfect? Contrary to what the voice of “not enough’’ sometimes tells us, we aren’t supposed to be perfect! We are all evolving in our own perfectly imperfect way. We are all here to learn. We don't have to figure it all out right from the start. We learn by experimenting, playing, creating, striving, sharing, and, yes, by making mistakes. This is the path of conscious evolution. All is well and good in this very moment. At the very same time there is an awareness of something fresh emerging, moment by moment. The ultimate questions becomes: do we nurture that freshness and actively engage in the naturally evolving process, or do keep doing the same tired dance on the same ground we have known for a very long time? We all participate in this evolving, unfolding process in unique ways. I feel happy when I am making progress in life. To me, progress means learning new things, deepening relationships, becoming more proficient at what matter most to me, being more present and loving, and taking consistent solid steps towards my goals and life vision. There is no perfection whatsoever in that process. It is messy. It involves stumbling. And pain. And correcting course. Often. And even with all that messiness, it is also alive and joyful and fulfilling and expansive. Simply taking your next step in a clear and positive direction is deeply satisfying. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With all of this in mind, write down your answers to the following questions.
When you are done answering these questions, I invite you to share one of your answers below in the comments section. With big love, Ariana ~Share your insights and experiences below in the comments section... Step Three: Rewriting Your "Not Enough" StoryWhat do I look at as evidence of not being enough? We are really good at making up internal stories about our “shortcomings.” And we are just as good at forgetting we made them up in the first place. :-) Now is the time to dive into the significance you have attached to certain unwanted or difficult conditions in your life. This is all part of your “not enough” story. You may think about this story and sometimes even speak it out loud; believing it is true and there is no way to change it. Other aspects of your “not enough” story may be completely unconscious and carefully hidden from your day-to-day awareness. Either way, we’ll shine light into those tender places where you have diminished your own value. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maybe it is the extra ten pounds you always want to lose? Maybe it is your bank balance? Or maybe your life partner, or your lack of a life partner? Maybe you beat yourself up over your current debt and pretend it means something significant about your value? Make a list of at least three things you have consciously or unconsciously been using as evidence of being inadequate in some way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When you have finished, take another look at the list and ask each of these questions for each item on the list:
What if those “extra” ten pounds aren’t “extra,” but are simply your natural body weight? What if not having a life partner has no relationship to your value, and is simply the most appropriate way for you to live right now? What if that debt isn’t about you doing something wrong, but is simply evidence of a commitment you made that must be paid back? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When you have finished going through your list and asking these questions, sit back and let out a big sigh of relief. You have just taken a significant step forward in rewriting those diminishing stories. We’ll come back to these items later. For now, acknowledge the power and significance of facing these stories head on... and let out another sigh just because it feels good. Love, Ariana ~Share your insights and experiences below in the comments section... Step Two: Be Real. Be Raw. In what areas of my life do I feel “not enough?" On a hot sticky summer morning many years ago, I woke up feeling as low as I ever had in my life. I remember thinking, "Oh, this is what hitting bottom feels like.” I was caught in a deep pool of despair and hopelessness. That morning, I felt like no matter how hard I tried, or how much I loved and gave and accomplished, I still felt inadequate. No matter what I did, I was simply not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, attractive enough, or rich enough, ad nauseam. That morning I felt like I was completely defective and broken. Sure, I have experienced feelings of inadequacy before. Haven't we all? I generally held off these fleeting feelings by doing more and trying harder. Sound familiar? These are the temporary band aids most people use to ward off feeling “not enough” so they can carry on in the moment. That day, feeling rejected by someone I cared about set off an intense stream of downward spiraling emotions. Amidst the despair, frustration, and hopelessness I felt that day, a powerful glimmer of hope suddenly emerged. If I was "broken", I could surely heal myself! After all, that's what I do. I am a body/heart/mind and soul healer in the deepest sense of the word. In that moment, I vowed to face these painful feelings that had been my silent unnamed dance partner for as long as I could remember, and heal them once and for all. Although I had been on a path of growth and conscious evolution since I was a teenager, hitting bottom that hot summer day was a powerful catalyst for facing this issue in a deeper way than ever before. I embraced this inner clearing and healing work and applied everything I knew to the process. As I dove deep and got raw and real with myself, I was immediately energized. I felt like a mighty warrior able to tame any shadowy dragon that came my way. My optimism returned. I felt empowered like never before in my life! As the inner debris related to feeling "not enough" cleared, the outer changes in my life were dramatic and deeply liberating. Over the next few months my life changed for the better in profound ways. I bought a new house and made new friends. My income, and my positive impact in my community increased. Eventually, new love that was grander than I had imagined was possible also entered into my life. Now, years after facing this challenge head on, remnants of this issue occasionally rear their head, yet I am freer than ever from its life diminishing grip. I feel more confident, capable, and self loving. I am also deeply accepting of my wholeness—my rough spots as well as my unique gifts and abilities. Somewhere in my journey of transformation, I realized “not enough” wasn't just my core issue. The illusion of “not enough” is one of humanity's core issues, and the source of so much pain and discontent. This 21-day course is designed to help you take significant steps to liberate yourself from this prevalent challenge. In this course you will be guided in discovering the collective underlying causes of this issue, and how it manifests in your life, in subtle and not so subtle ways. Then you will go through a process of inner inquiry and clearing in order to loosen the grip of this issue in your day-to-day life. Being completely honest with yourself is a vital part of the process. We tend to live on the surface sometimes, erroneously thinking that if everything appears to be good and pretty on the outside, then it is. So we dance around the periphery of our shadows, unwilling to directly face the deeper energy-sucking issues in our lives. There are times when positive thinking is of real value, and times to be completely raw and real with ourselves. The willingness to directly face this core issue is the first step in dispelling it. These questions can help you get clearer on how “not enough” shows up in your life. Get out some paper and a pen to make a list of your answers. It is helpful to be as specific as possible, and go deeper than you usually do. The first part of this course is about clearly seeing yourself and the places where you feel constricted by this issue, and then exploring new ways to perceive yourself and the conditions of your life. We’ll come back to these items again when we dive into the clearing processes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Take the time to fully answer each question in the course. These questions are powerful and precise tools which you will be using to discover and break up old ways of thinking and felling that no longer serve you. The process of deep inquiry clears the way for deeper embodiment and authenticity in the ways you live, love, and create.
With love, Ariana ~Share your insights and experiences below in the comments section... An Introduction to the 21-Day Course: |
The 21-Day Course: Let Go of Feeling Like You’re “Not Enough” So You Can Confidently Claim Your Unique Beauty, Value, and Brilliance!This introductory course provides a series of powerful processes and practices that are most effective when done each day for 21 days. The course guides you through a process of inquiry that will bring about new insights, healing, and transformation so you can begin to liberate yourself from feeling like you are "not enough."
New posts will be added to the top of this web page each day for the next 21 days. Be sure to bookmark this page and check back each day so you don’t miss any of the steps. With love and good cheer, Ariana 
Ariana GarrettAn energy therapist, relationship and women's embodiment coach, Ariana is a lover of love in all of its many delicious forms; self love, couples love, family love, community love and ultimately, the universal love that pervades all. ArchivesCategories |
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