Most of us want connection more than just about anything else, whether we realize it or not. For some people, this longing lives as a roaring demand and near constant invitation to engage. For others, the longing for connection is a tender, almost inaudible plea that doesn’t expect to ever really be heard. Whatever our habitual connection style, we’re all hardwired to reach out for connection.
We were all conceived in a blaze of connection between a hard driving sperm and a willing egg. Some part of us always wants to revisit this juicy creative place of vast potential, even when the connectedness has nothing to do with sex.
When we feel wholeheartedly connected, we feel alive, energized, and ultra magnetic.
When we’re in this connected place, anything is possible. ANYTHING.
The cute sexy partner, the bulging bank account, the groovy new house, the work that really matters, the trek through the Amazonian wilds, the flat belly after the baby, or the award that says you’ve made it.
Within all these desires is the longing to feel more wholeheartedly connected. The things we want the most are simply doorways to deeper connection--to our self and to our tribe.
Creating healthy nourishing connections is a key element to accomplishing anything and everything: a loving and supportive romantic partnership, professional success, jaw dropping creative expansion, and more influence or affluence in your life. Connection is the key element that empowers creative manifestation in every area of life.
It is the full tank of gas on your long awaited road trip.
We yearn for connection because when we feel connected, life gets better. Not just a tad bit better, but exponentially, extravagantly better.
When we are wholeheartedly connected we feel like we are plugged in, turned on, and shining in all our glory.
Research show that developing strong social connections correlates to higher self-esteem, greater empathy for others, and the development of more trusting and cooperative relationships. The bottom line it that connection generates greater social, emotional, and physical well-being.
Enhancing our capacity for connection is not simply a skill to develop, but a way of life to embrace. It is a way of life that is deeply fulfilling. Some of the brass rings you get when you ride the connection merry-go-round: more satisfying relationships, better health, greater affluence, and security.
Sadly, the opposite is true for those who lack social connectedness. Low levels of connection are associated with declines in physical and psychological health, and increased violence behavior.
Really smart and well educated researchers have spend a lot of time and money verifying these claims. Studies have shown that developing greater social connections leads to lower levels of anxiety and depression, a stronger immune system, faster recovery from illness, a better brain, and even greater longevity.
Where connection lives, happiness follows.
Are you in yet? :-)
There are three significant dimensions of wholehearted connection:
connection with self
connection with your inner circle
connection with your extended tribe
Deepening connections in all three spheres creates a vast doorway to a bigger life.
Living a wholeheartedly connected life means connection becomes your new normal. Not just the place you visit briefly on vacation, or tip toe into from time to time, but the place where you are deeply grounded no matter where you travel or who you are with. There are particular skills and capacities involved in creating wholehearted connection. Because we were all raised in a culture that fosters disconnection, most of us are in the process of discovering and honing those important connecting skills and need support along the way.
The most significant first step in creating wholehearted connection is getting more connected with yourself. With your body, your mind and soul; with your heart’s deepest longings, as well as the fears and sorrows you have encase in tragic stories and quietly tucked away.
When we stop dodging and hiding what lives authentically inside of us, life gets really interesting.
Connection quite naturally thrives as you discover the truer stories of who you are; the rich tales inscribed upon your soul that are waiting to be translated into the language of this time and place.
What does self connection feel like?
Being present. Body awake. Heart, soul, mind, brain, and nervous system aligned. Heart leading, and persistently beating you towards what matters most. Feeling alive and embodied as love. Your inner powers activated.
What does healthy connection with your inner circle feel like?
Safe. Safe. Safe. And did I mention safe? Love and respect. Acceptance. Authenticity. Room for vast differences, yet cut of the same cloth. Truth is the language spoken here. Warmth. Sharing it all; the burdens and the beauty.
What does healthy connection to your extended tribe feel like?
One human family. Inclusive. A place for self expression. Giving our gifts with no expectations, or crystal clear win/win agreements. Owning and sharing Your Superpowers. Being a loving stewart and protector of all people, the Earth, the leafy ones, and our many legged friends. Alignment with a greater power, whatever you may call it. Basking in the mystery and embracing the many facets of this complex and sometimes perplexing life.
If any of this sounds intriguing or maybe even downright compelling, I am going to lay down a challenge to you...
To live with the intention to deepening authentic connection in every kind of situation... with your own heart in the middle of a heated conversation, in the soft tender moments with the people you love the most, in the brief moment with the barista you will never cross paths with again, and with the toxic family member who drives you absolutely crazy at every holiday gathering.
All of these connections matter, and they all offers another opportunity for wholehearted connection.