We all love to dream.
Imagining a better future for ourselves and our world is a powerful way to activate our innate creative potential.
Maybe you’re imagining and working toward a new job, an inspired creative project, a cozy new home, or a more fulfilling relationship. Dreaming and working toward those dreams can be expansive, fun, and fulfilling.
Whatever you're yearning for, here's an idea to consider that will make your dreams even more satisfying…
It involves focusing on inner embodiment as well as the outer manifestation of your dreams. With this approach, you let go of focussing solely on the outer form of what you want and go for what lies at the heart of your dream.
Inner embodiment is about developing the internal state of being you are really yearning for, rather than just chasing after the outer package that looks good and desirable right now.
Our dreams are really avenues to experience new inner states of being. We often get this turned around, thinking we will feel content and satisfied if our dreams materializes. All too often the satisfaction we feel when a dream comes true is fleeting. And then we're off to chase another dream. Our inner state of being is what creates a rich and sustained state of fulfillment, whatever is happening in your life.
If you learn to embody and more fully live the inner state or quality that lies at the heart of your dreams, outer experiences naturally come into your life that resonate with and express the new inner state you have embodied.
If you want more abundance in your life, cultivate the inner capacity to give more abundantly. Give more time, more presence, more money… whatever you have.
If you want to receive more, practice and embody the capacity to receive more. Let life in, all of it... the light, the dark and all the interesting shades in-between.
If you want to manifest more love in your relationships…. become a fuller embodiment of love. As you do so you will naturally draw out more love in your current relationships and probably magnetize some new loving relationships as well.
We are incredibly magnetic.
We constantly attract what we carry within our psyches, whether it is conscious and unconscious. The undercurrents of your psyche will eventually show up in your life, even if you have spent years trying to deny, repress, or hide an inner conditions you don’t like.
If you feel weak inside, you will, sooner or later, attract outer experiences that validate this feeling.
If you feel strong inside, you will naturally attract experiences that validate this feeling.
If part of you feels strong and part of you feels weak, you will experience a sometimes crazy making mix of experiences in which you feel both weak and strong. This is where most people live.
Feeling unloveable? Experiences will come around that affirm this… no matter how much you tell yourself you are lovable.
The undercurrents of our psyche are magnetic, even when we cover them over with a veneer of positivity and affirmations.
Every part of us is magnetic. The life we are currently living is the life we have naturally magnetized from the inside out.
It gets a bit tricky when you are on a path of growth and spiritual evolution. As you change inwardly, the outer life you have created begins to feel too small. Some days you feel like you are walking in shoes that are way too tight. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. With every step.
That kind of pain just means it is time to dream bigger.
It is time to dream of walking in shiny new shoes that actually fit and express your expanding inner radiance. The challenges come when all parts of your psyche have not caught up with the bigger dream.
This is the time to work and grow inwardly to fully embody what you need to step into the bigger dream.
So let yourself dream big. At the same time, put just as much energy into cultivating and embodying the qualities and ways of being that live at the heart of your dreams.
In the initial stages of embodiment we are called to become more attuned to the love, wisdom, and strength of the soul, so we can more fully live and express these qualities through our whole being.
As embodiment progresses, your mind gradually clears and quiets. Self defeating thought patterns shift and emotional healing occurs. The subtle connections between heart, mind, soul, brain, and body are gradually rewired so that authentic, healthy, and appropriate responses and interactions spontaneously emerge in the moment.
Outer circumstances have less influence on your sense of well being.
You feel a deep grounded presence.
The ups and downs of life gradually take on less significance.
Authentic and clear communication arises naturally through your conversations.
You shine brighter.
Clear intuitive knowing is a regular occurrence.
You feel gloriously hijacked by spontaneous waves of love coming to and through you.
There is a loss of interest in drama—yours and theirs.
Your magnetism increases and you feel truly beautiful.
Laughter and lightheartedness arise unexpectedly.
You look at the world through soft empathetic eyes.
Spontaneous miracles and unexplainable life enhancing “coincidences” occur regularly.
There is an apparent reversal of the aging process.
Expanded opportunities to share your unique gifts unexpectedly enter your sphere.
Creative surges take you into wild territory you’ve never known before.
You discover super powers you never knew you had.
Through embodiment, you find a new stability as you begin to feel solidly anchored in this fresh clear state. Even though you may still feel pushed around by circumstances from time to time, there is a newfound strength that is strong and consistent. You now have a deeper understanding of what is means to feel really centered.
In this stage, you are more fully yourself then ever before.
You appreciate yourself for who you are, rather than dwelling on who you would like to be. The fantasy projections that you can never quite live up to begin to lose power and influence in your life. The “not enough” illusion you have danced with for so long begins to fade away.
The constant effort to improve yourself gloriously dies down and is replaced by feelings of equanimity. You still want to explore and evolve, but these impulses come from a completely different place than they used to. They come from a genuine desire to learn and grow, rather than a sense of not being just fine the way you are.
This deepening self acceptance sparks strong feelings of self love, which is a powerful sign that this part of the embodiment process is unfolding in healthy ways.
This growing self love isn’t narcissistic or egotistical. It’s more pure and clear, emerging out of a deeper recognition of who you are in your fullness.
This is a time to celebrate yourself and all you have done to get to this shiny new place. It has not been easy. Yet it has been totally worth the struggles and egoic tug of wars; the tortured moments when you resisted surrendering to a higher way; and all the time and energy it took to stay true to your path. Especially when others scoffed at you or doubted you, and thought you were a little bit crazy. Or maybe even a whole lot crazy.
Delightfully, you come through this period with something totally unexpected. It isn’t quite the happiness you expected to feel, but something much richer and more nourishing.
You feel content. It is a soft sure comforting feeling that all is well, and it ALWAYS has been. Even when you were rocking and rolling in trauma and drama.
You find yourself in a more solid state, even as life presents you with a fresh load of challenges. Some that are bigger than ever. In the midst of it all, your mantra becomes, “I got this”. And you do. It isn’t always easy… but you know you will figure out how to deal with whatever comes your way.
This is a very different state than, “Everything is going to be all right”.
You KNOW, deep down and through and through: “Everything IS all right. Right here. Right now”. Even when life is hard and there are dark arrows coming your way.
You breathe easier because you are living and breathing as the Soul. This is your most authentic self, and all else is costuming and roll playing. And you totally know it.
As you live and breathe as the soul, you know the real you is safe and timeless and immortal. And all the other parts are coming and going, living and changing in order to awaken their inherent soulfulness.
There are still challenges. And really hard day when you want to give up and eat way too much ice cream and lay on the beach all day.
Yep, the challenges are definitely still there. But somehow you know you will eventually make it through all of them, triumphant and grateful for the whole process.
Your wounds become scars that remind you of deep truths and life changing lessons.
Recently, I went to the birthday party of a bright and beautiful 16 year old. Rather than having the typical sweet 16 birthday party, this free thinking young woman wanted the dozen or so people at her celebration to sit in circle and share.
After feasting and listening to music, we came together and were asked to answer a series of engaging questions. Each questions brought out delightful answers from those gathered. The more people shared, the more everyone in the group opened into deeper trust and authenticity. As time went by, eyes lit up and smiles got brighter. Fond memories, deep wisdom, and much laughter were shared that day.
It was deeply nourishing to be part of this birthday gathering. I came away feeling inspired and over the top optimistic about the future of our planet after months of grim political and ecological news being blasted from every media outlet. Being at the party felt like being rubbed down with a deep healing salve.
One of the questions asked that day was: “What do you wish someone had told you on your 16th birthday?”
At the time I said something about the importance of following your heart and soul. I still stand by that answer. Absolutely. Always.
Since that day I have pondered this question many times and have found another answer that resonates just as deeply with me.
So here goes. What I wish someone told me on my 16th birthday:
Develop the habit of turning towards connection. Connection is what matters most in life. Connect and you will be fine.
Connection has the power to heal and soothe whatever ails you.
Deepening connection with yourself and with the people around you is the powerful catalyst that transforms us into what is most real, valuable and true.
If you lack anything, connection is the next step, and the ultimate answer.
Master connection and you master life.
Wishing you a beautifully connected holiday today.
In loving connection,
Isn’t it crazy how willing we are to believe the worst about ourselves?
We quietly throw ourselves under the bus a million times a day. We sell ourselves out, and act like we are tarnished and dented goods.
If you saw a friend doing this, it would be heartbreaking, wouldn’t it?
So we hide. We slay ourselves in the deep shadows of our psyche. Sometimes we shout, and sometimes we whisper about all the ways we are defective. Whether it is loudly voiced or almost inaudible, we relentlessly criticize and shame ourselves, day in and day out.
I’m calling you all out on the ways you’re are not kind to yourself, and invite you to start telling the truth about how magnificent you are—even with all the dents and tarnished parts.
Those parts make you more beautiful.
I repeat, those parts—the nuances, the imperfections you relentlessly try to hide, are the badges you have earned through a life well lived. They are the badges you get from rising each day to courageously face the challenges at hand.
These parts create your patina; the stuff that doesn’t need to be hidden. They are the wabi sabi marks that enhance your raw and natural beauty.
These are also the parts that need loving attention. They secretly want to be held and shamelessly cherished.
When we can summon the compassion and strength to wholeheartedly embrace them, these are the parts that make us feel real and whole and humble, gratefully yearning for more life.
With a warm embrace,
Today I have a awesome gift for you that I'm really excited about. I think you'll be excited about it too.
If you're like most people, you sometimes feel like you aren't enough in some significant way or another. Maybe this shows up for you as not feeling good enough, or smart enough, or sexy enough, or wealthy enough, ad nauseum!
I have found traces of “not enough” in every client I have ever worked with. It lies at the heart of most relationship and financial challenges. It blocks bold and exuberant creativity, and the natural celebratory spirit that accompanies realistic achievement.
The good news is that there are ways to release yourself from the insidious grasp of this often covert issue so you can deeply realize and express your innate beauty, brilliance, and strength.
When this core issue is consciously worked with, everything else in your life improves. I mean everything!
Because of the pervasive nature of this challenge, I have created an online course to help my clients get free from the grip of "not enough". Today, I'm offering the course to you: Let Go of Feeling Like You're "Not Enough" So You Can Confidently Claim Your Unique Beauty, Value, and Brilliance.
This online course will be offered free of charge for a limited time.
Yes, you got that right.... it's totally free. And you can participate in the coziness of your own home. There's nothing to buy, and no where to drive. How can you resist that?
Sign up by clicking the link below. Get it today because it won't be available for long.
How often does the voice of “not enough” whisper that you should be doing more, or doing better? How often does the perfectionist within rear its head to invalidate your accomplishments because things haven't turned out quite like you imagined they would?
Contrary to what the voice of “not enough’’ sometimes tells us, we aren’t meant to do everything perfectly. You already know this, yet it bears repeating. Often.
We are all evolving in our own perfectly imperfect way.
We are all here to learn. We don't have to have it all figured out right from the start. We learn by experimenting, playing, creating, striving, sharing, and, yes, by making mistakes. Sometimes really big clumsy ones.
This is the path of engaged evolution. The foundation of this path is knowing that everything is already well and good in this very moment, even when pain, sadness, or hurt are involved. Even when we feel alone or vulnerable. Engaged evolution is firmly anchored in this fundamental sense of all rightness. Yet at the very same time there is a subtle awareness of something fresh emerging, moment by moment.
The ultimate question becomes: Can we truly nurture that freshness, and with fiery passion engage in this naturally evolving process; or do we keep doing the same tired dance on the same worn out ground we have intimately known for a very long time?
A fulfilling life is all about progress, not perfection.
I feel the most joyful when I am making progress. For me, progress means learning new things, being more authentic every day, nourishing precious relationships, trying on new moves, tastes, spices, and colors, going deeper, taking solid steps forward with my creative inspiration, and being more present, vulnerable, and loving.
There is no perfection whatsoever in this process. It is messy. It involves stumbling. And pain. And correcting course. Often.
Even with all that messiness, this process is also dynamically alive and joyful, fulfilling and beautifully expansive. Simply taking your next step in a clear and positive direction is deeply satisfying.
The challenge of engaged evolution is to step forward knowing the ground you are standing on right now is already perfect.
When we do this, we are lovingly catapulted forward by the mighty and unstoppable force of self acceptance.
With true love,
The last tree in the yard finally opened its tiny green buds in honor of Spring. The rest of the land came alive weeks ago, vibrant with tight buds of the exquisite shade of green that only reveals itself as a beaconing of the warm days ahead. As the rest of the trees were dancing in the delight of Spring renewal, this one tree was still stark and bare. This one tree was still resting while the other trees were boldly awakening.
As I looked at this still dormant tree one day, standing in stark contrast to the verdant finery all around, my perception of the tree suddenly shifted. Instead of seeing it as a dark barren tree, I suddenly saw it as the most beautiful love infused tree ever. Its dark bare branches suddenly became the embodiment of love. Its sap was dripping with pure love, and its root were wrapping the earth in love.
Sometimes love is dark and barren on the outside, as a tree in winter. A person or situation may seem to be void of love, without vibrant green leaves, fruits, or flowers. All you can see from the outside are stark, bare branches. Yet deep within, love is resting quietly, waiting for the return of the warmth and light to help it branch forth in new ways.
The naked tree in winter is love, despite its barren appearance.
The vibrant tree in full flower is also love, through and through.
It is easy to recognize love in its fullness, yet can we also recognize love when it is resting or slowly unfolding?
Resting love and awakening love are both still love. It is our judgements that separate one version of love from another, and convince us one form of love is better than the other, that a tree in full flower is more beautiful than the bare, still tree in winter.
The mind separates and judges, yet the heart includes all, and sees beauty in all. That very capacity to see beauty in the way life is unfolding right now, even in its bareness, is a powerful force that comforts, awakens and inspires.
Warm summer greetings to you, my friend.
These past few weeks have brought on a cycle of deep emotional clearing for many, myself included. Maybe this is true for you, too?
The other day, a friend mentioned a woman who recently “broke down in tears.” We have all heard and probably spoken this common phrase many times.
When I heard it that day, I was struck by how often the underlying collective assumption is that the display of deep and raw emotion is an indication of brokenness, and “breaking down” is a clear and irrefutable sign that something is terribly wrong and needs to be fixed.
We live within this assumption as the fish lives within the sea, unaware of the wetness all around.
Even if we know in our clever, over active minds that deep emotion does not equate to brokenness, most people are still conditioned and wired to live as though this were true. So often we hide, suppress, anesthetize, or close down at the first hint of a wild raging storm brewing within.
When we begin to feel emotional and unsettled inside, how often do we think, “what’s wrong?”
Maybe, just maybe, those intense emotions are emerging because of what is right in our lives; because of what we are letting go of and releasing.
Deep and authentic emotion is often a sign of full bodied living, not brokenness.
Raw emotion (as opposed to rehashing the same old tired drama) often wells up when we get in touch with a deeper truth, maybe one we pushed away long ago because we did not yet have the strength to courageously face it and embrace it.
These waves of emotion call to be acknowledged, accepted, and loved just as they are. The simple act of being with deep emotion rather than running from is often exactly what is needed to free up and release the pain; and then quite naturally and gracefully let ourselves be guided on to our next evolutionary step.
The challenge is to lean in to these feelings simply as there are, as physical sensation.
Can we feel the hot sting of tears without adding a tragic story? Can the pain in our gut be simply that… a pain in the gut? Can we breathe into and deeply feel these sensations without fighting them or wallowing in them?
Maybe there are warm wet cleansing tears, yearning to flow through you right now. Maybe there are rough and ragged fears stuffed way down inside, longing to be held within the unconditional embrace of your own tender heartedness.
Maybe, just maybe, it is possible to fully embrace and intimately know every nuance of these untamed waves of emotion, and in the process of being fully present to our raw and authentic feelings, simply allow them to naturally return to the vast ocean of human experience, leaving us cleansed, invigorated, and broken open rather than broken down.
An energy therapist, relationship and spiritual life coach, Ariana is a lover of love in all of its many delicious forms; self love, couples love, family love, community love and ultimately, the universal love that pervades all.