In the initial stages of embodiment we are called to become more attuned to the love, wisdom, and strength of the soul, so we can more fully live and express these qualities through our whole being.
As embodiment progresses, your mind gradually clears and quiets. Self defeating thought patterns shift and emotional healing occurs. The subtle connections between heart, mind, soul, brain, and body are gradually rewired so that authentic, healthy, and appropriate responses and interactions spontaneously emerge in the moment.
Outer circumstances have less influence on your sense of well being.
You feel a deep grounded presence.
The ups and downs of life gradually take on less significance.
Authentic and clear communication arises naturally through your conversations.
You shine brighter.
Clear intuitive knowing is a regular occurrence.
You feel gloriously hijacked by spontaneous waves of love coming to and through you.
There is a loss of interest in drama—yours and theirs.
Your magnetism increases and you feel truly beautiful.
Laughter and lightheartedness arise unexpectedly.
You look at the world through soft empathetic eyes.
Spontaneous miracles and unexplainable life enhancing “coincidences” occur regularly.
There is an apparent reversal of the aging process.
Expanded opportunities to share your unique gifts unexpectedly enter your sphere.
Creative surges take you into wild territory you’ve never known before.
You discover super powers you never knew you had.
Through embodiment, you find a new stability as you begin to feel solidly anchored in this fresh clear state. Even though you may still feel pushed around by circumstances from time to time, there is a newfound strength that is strong and consistent. You now have a deeper understanding of what is means to feel really centered.
In this stage, you are more fully yourself then ever before.
You appreciate yourself for who you are, rather than dwelling on who you would like to be. The fantasy projections that you can never quite live up to begin to lose power and influence in your life. The “not enough” illusion you have danced with for so long begins to fade away.
The constant effort to improve yourself gloriously dies down and is replaced by feelings of equanimity. You still want to explore and evolve, but these impulses come from a completely different place than they used to. They come from a genuine desire to learn and grow, rather than a sense of not being just fine the way you are.
This deepening self acceptance sparks strong feelings of self love, which is a powerful sign that this part of the embodiment process is unfolding in healthy ways.
This growing self love isn’t narcissistic or egotistical. It’s more pure and clear, emerging out of a deeper recognition of who you are in your fullness.
This is a time to celebrate yourself and all you have done to get to this shiny new place. It has not been easy. Yet it has been totally worth the struggles and egoic tug of wars; the tortured moments when you resisted surrendering to a higher way; and all the time and energy it took to stay true to your path. Especially when others scoffed at you or doubted you, and thought you were a little bit crazy. Or maybe even a whole lot crazy.
Delightfully, you come through this period with something totally unexpected. It isn’t quite the happiness you expected to feel, but something much richer and more nourishing.
You feel content. It is a soft sure comforting feeling that all is well, and it ALWAYS has been. Even when you were rocking and rolling in trauma and drama.
You find yourself in a more solid state, even as life presents you with a fresh load of challenges. Some that are bigger than ever. In the midst of it all, your mantra becomes, “I got this”. And you do. It isn’t always easy… but you know you will figure out how to deal with whatever comes your way.
This is a very different state than, “Everything is going to be all right”.
You KNOW, deep down and through and through: “Everything IS all right. Right here. Right now”. Even when life is hard and there are dark arrows coming your way.
You breathe easier because you are living and breathing as the Soul. This is your most authentic self, and all else is costuming and roll playing. And you totally know it.
As you live and breathe as the soul, you know the real you is safe and timeless and immortal. And all the other parts are coming and going, living and changing in order to awaken their inherent soulfulness.
There are still challenges. And really hard day when you want to give up and eat way too much ice cream and lay on the beach all day.
Yep, the challenges are definitely still there. But somehow you know you will eventually make it through all of them, triumphant and grateful for the whole process.
Your wounds become scars that remind you of deep truths and life changing lessons.
It has been a while since I have written a new post. Many months, in fact.
These have been intense months for me. Deeply fulfilling and challenging at the same time. Filled with gigantic bursts of creativity, much needed rest, healing play, and many sweet triumphant moments with people I love.
As Spring emerges in all her glory, I am yearning to share the fresh insights that have been percolating so ferociously through my heart and mind in recent months.
For many people the last year has been a time of intense anxiety related to personal and global challenges. Some of this stress has been related to events and circumstances that are far out of our control.
Fires, floods and random shootings have dominated our newsfeeds here in California. And hit way too close to home for many. Several friends lost everything they owned in the recent fires. A meditation center where I once lived and worked partially burned. A client’s family was deeply traumatized by the tragedy that unfolded in the Las Vegas shooting.
Global political drama ramps up and down, and then up again, right along with the volatile financial markets. Just as the stress of one event starts to subside, another wave of uncertainty rolls through our collective awareness.
There has been little time to calm down and get back to feeling calm, safe, and “normal” again before the next tragedy hits.
Even if all is well in your own life, the collective anxiety ripples through all of our psyches.
After these times of collective trauma, if the needed healing and calm doesn’t happen, our nervous systems stay in a perpetual state of high alert. This often happens on a subtle level we might not even recognize. It can show up as stress, overwhelm, sleep issues, and fatigue.
When we are faced with a challenging situation, our “fight, flight or freeze” response is triggered. We go into high alert. This happens when our well being or safety are threatened in some way.
The threat can be physical or emotional, real or imagined, in your own home or around the globe.
The “fight, flight or freeze” response is part of a built-in survival mechanism that helps us deal with threatening situations. A part of the brain called the amygdala sounds the danger alarm. This activates a whole host of physical and emotional responses that are designed to empowered us to meet the perceived threat head on. And hopefully, come out triumphant.
We’ve all know what this “fight, flight or freeze” response feels like…. rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, and the dry mouth that comes with the rush of adrenalin. Our breathing accelerates and digestion slows as the hormonal mix of our whole system rapidly changes. Cortisol, a powerful stress hormone, has its way with us. These physical changes are meant to give us the heightened awareness and abilities needed to deal with the threat at hand.
The problem emerges when we are regularly in situations where we feel our well being or survival are threatened. Maybe it is the boss who demands too much from you, or maybe it is ongoing financial pressure. Maybe you get trigger by challenges in your relationship, or by health issues.
A combination of stressful situations can easily push us over the edge. Whatever the catalysts, when you go into chronic “fight, flight or freeze” it doesn’t feel good…
You feel anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed. Fragmented, with a racing mind. Haunted by the never ending TO DO list that consumes every free moment.
You may toss and turn at night… waking up in the morning as tired as you were the night before.
You need a carb rush to get through that afternoon slump. You drink too much coffee to get it all done. And then drink wine to calm it all down.
You're just trying to get through the day intact… hoping for happy, settling for productive.
We’ve all had those kind of days.
The problem is when the anxious days turn into stressed out weeks, and even months.
Logically, even if you know you are safe and have survived whatever seemed to be so threatening, your nervous system stays on alert unless it is reset.
We become hyper-vigilant, ready to fend off any perceived threat to our well being and survival. In these challenging times it is easy to get caught in a near constant state of fear and uncertainty.
Until you crash and burn.
Sometime the people you love hold you up and love you up until the needed relaxation and rewiring can happen. But usually, the people you love suffer right along with you.
Here is the good news…
In recent years, a tremendous amount of research has been done on the brain and nervous system. As a result of this leading edge research, we have a deeper understand of how these survival mechanisms can be managed in ways that foster greater well being and happiness.
Many highly effective techniques have been developed that can rapidly reset your nervous system to calm.
These practices, which I often do with my clients, can be done in as little as 15 minutes. They rapidly clear and reset your autonomic nervous system to safe mode. Then you can naturally and appropriately respond in the present moment with more love, creativity, and awareness.
I'm sharing some Embodiment Practices for clearing trauma and emotions from your body, brain, and nervous system. Through these practices, I am going to teach you how to reset your system to calm, even in the midst of stressful times, personal or global. You can access them by clicking the button below.
Until then… take a deep breath, wiggle your toes, and feel your feet on the floor. Pause and simply be aware of your breath for a moment or two. Even one conscious breath can begin to turn your nervous system towards calm, and help you find your happy place… anytime, anywhere.
Heartbreaking loss is one of the most painful experiences of being human.
When you’re heartbroken, suddenly the world doesn't feel quite as safe anymore. Your trust in the goodness of life waivers. The connections you counted on become tattered and frayed, and sometimes completely severed.
Any of these experiences can be a catalyst for heartbreaking loss…
The death of a beloved spouse, friend, or parent.
A divorce, or an unwanted breakup (again!)
The death of a pet who has been there every single day through thick and thin.
A big empty nest.
Being abandoned or betrayed by someone you counted on and trusted.
Heartbreaking loss makes you reevaluate everything you thought you knew about life and love. It can tear you apart and brings you to your knees. Over and over again.
But only if you let it.
As hard as heartbreak can be, surviving and learning to thrive after a heartbreaking loss can be one of the most triumphant experiences of your life.
Heartbreak demands that we face the hardest parts of being human. It calls us deep into the shadows of our core wounds. It also offers a powerful opportunity to heal and become more authentically alive and engaged in life. It can be a powerful catalyst to courageously awakening our innate love, wisdom and spiritual awareness.
The essence of heartbreak is feeling the presence, love, and support of someone…. and then it is gone. The love is gone, and the support vanishes. The one you depended on, and maybe even cherished, isn’t there for you anymore.
When someone you love isn’t there for you in the ways they used to be, big empty spaces often fill the places in your heart once reserved for them. Sometimes those empty spaces are filled with a never-ending flood of tears. At other times the pain and anger feel like they have taken over every part of your life.
Our culture often denies heartbreak and the need to fully grieve and heal. In the midst of loss, we often quietly fall into the life diminishing habits of denial and repression.
We turn away from the pain. Or we fall so deeply into it we feel like we are drowning in a sea of despair.
We medicate. We binge. We sob until the tears run dry, or push the tears so far down everything grows cold and hard.
Yet, no matter how hard you try to “get over it and move on”, unless the wound is tended to, heartbreak lingers and it keeps right on hurting. In times of emotional heartbreak, the parts of the brain that registers physical pain are also activated.
Heartbreak hurts, deep down and all around. I know. I’ve been there. More than once.
I’ve gone to the depths of heartbreak, and eventually found my way back into the light. Stronger, wiser and happier than before.
The unexpected passing of my beloved five years ago was a catalyst for healing not only the grief about his death, but for also facing a lifetime of unresolved heartbreak and disappointment. My healing demanded that I come to terms with all the times people I loved and counted on weren’t there for me in ways large and small.
Each time I allowed myself to grieve, something seemingly miraculous, yet quite natural happened. Love and more love emerged within and all around me. As I embraced my grief, my heart continued to open and expand.
Most significant of all, instead of feeling like a victim of my beloved's death, I knew that healing this heartbreak was one of the greatest gift I have ever been given.
As I healed my own heartbreaking losses, I became acutely aware of the great cloud of collective loss that dampens many people's ability to fully and freely live and love.
Most people have multiple significant unresolved heartbreaks in their lives.
Maybe it was the breakup or divorce you never really got over. Or the death of someone significant and trusted. Or even a major life transition that felt like a loss.
Whatever the unresolved losses, we pay a great price for not embracing and healing them. Depression, addiction, and the inability to create supportive relationships are but a few of the common results of unresolved loss.
From my own experience of grieving my beloved’s death, as well as grieving a divorce that occurred many years earlier, and other lesser losses, this is what I have come to know…
The deep pool of unresolved grief that so many people carry within every single day can be transformed into an infinite source of love.
Since my time of deep grieving, I have supported many others in navigating the sacred journey of grief so they can thrive again after loss.
Through a series of energy psychology and relationship coaching sessions focussed on healing their losses, clients find acceptance, peace, and more love than ever before.
This is the kind of support and guidance I needed when I was deep in the shadows of grief and heartache, which I now give to others.
If you are interested in finding out more about how you can heal unresolved loss and heartbreak, click here to schedule a free introductory consultation.
P.S. Please feel free to pass this message along to a friend who is suffering from a heartbreaking loss.
Have you ever felt expansive, yet grounded; connected, yet free; autonomous, yet deliciously united with the people around you?
You were touching into a state of wholehearted connection.
Why is connection so important? Research show that developing strong social connections correlates to higher self-esteem, greater empathy for others, and the development of more trusting and cooperative relationships. The bottom line it that connection generates greater social, emotional, and physical well-being.
Enhancing your capacity for connection is not simply a skill to develop, but a way of life to embrace. It is a way of life that rocks. Some of the brass rings you get when you ride the connection merry-go-round: more satisfying relationships, better health, greater affluence, and security.
Sadly, the opposite is true for those who lack social connectedness. Low levels of connection are associated with declines in physical and psychological health, and increased violence behavior.
Really smart and well educated researchers have spend a lot of time and money verifying these claims. Studies have shown that developing greater social connections leads to lower levels of anxiety and depression, a stronger immune system, faster recovery from illness, a better brain, and even greater longevity.
Where connection lives, happiness follows.
Are you in yet? :-)
Knowing connection is really significant and deeply fulfilling is very different then being able to cultivate more of it in your life. This connected place is a sweet spot we may visit at random and sometimes unexpected times, yet all too often we don't know how to recreate it on demand. There are particular skills and capacities involved in creating deeply fulfilling and wholehearted connection. Most of us are in the process of discovering and honing those skills, so I've dedicating a series of blogs to the elements that go into that process.
There are three significant dimensions of wholehearted connection: connection with self, connection with your inner circle, and connection with your extended tribe.
Deepening connection in all three spheres creates a vast doorway to a bigger life.
Living a wholeheartedly connected life opens this door so that ever deepening connection becomes your new normal. Not just the place you visit briefly on vacation, or tip toe into from time to time, but the place where you are deeply grounded no matter where you travel or who you are with.
The most significant first step in creating wholehearted connection is getting more connected with yourself. With your body, your mind and soul; with your heart’s deepest longings, and even the fears and sorrows you have encase in tired old tragic stories and quietly tucked away.
When we stop dodging and hiding what lives authentically inside of us, life gets really interesting.
Connection quite naturally thrives as you discover the truer stories of who you are; the rich tales inscribed upon your soul that are waiting to be translated into the language of this time and place.
What does self connection feel like?
Being present. Body awake. Heart, soul, mind, brain, and nervous system aligned. Heart leading, and persistently beating you towards what matters most. Feeling alive and embodied as love. Your inner powers activated.
What does healthy connection with your inner circle feel like?
Safe. Safe. Safe. And did I mention safe? Love and respect. Acceptance. Authenticity. Room for vast differences, yet cut of the same cloth. Truth is the language spoken here. Warmth. Sharing it all; the burdens and the beauty.(Be sure to check out the shot below of some of my inner circle at a recent holiday brunch).
What does healthy connection to your extended tribe feel like?
One human family. Inclusive. A place for self expression. Gifting. Either no expectations, or crystal clear win/win expectation. Owning and sharing Your Superpowers. Being a loving stewart and protector of all people, the Earth, the leafy ones, and our many legged friends. Alignment with a greater power, whatever you may call it. Basking in the mystery and embracing the many facets of this complex and sometimes perplexing life.
If any of this sounds intriguing or maybe even downright compelling, you can open to a fuller experience of wholehearted connection right here, right now.
Today I'm sharing a really simple yet powerful practice for Grounding and Presence to access greater self connection.
Try the Practice for Grounding and Presence Here
In loving connection,
We all long for connection.
Most people want connection more than just about anything else, whether they realize it or not. For some, this longing lives as a roaring demand of the universe and its many inhabitants; a near constant invitation to engage. For others it is a tender, almost inaudible plea that doesn’t expect to ever be fully heard.
Whatever your habitual connection style, you’re hardwired to reach out for connection. Healthy connection, vibrant connection, or whatever quality of connection we can possibly get. Because life in these bodies is all about feeling fully alive and totally plugged in.
When we feel wholeheartedly connected, we feel energized, creative, and ultra magnetic.
We were all conceived in a blaze of connection between a hard driving sperm and a willing egg. Some part of us always wants to revisit this juicy creative place of vast potential, even when the connectedness has nothing to do with sex.
When we’re in this connected place, anything is possible. ANYTHING.
The cute sexy partner, the bulging bank account, the groovy new digs, the work that really matters, the trek through the Amazonian wilds, the flat belly after the baby, or the award that says you’ve made it.
Within all these desires is the longing to feel more wholeheartedly connected. The things we want the most are simply doorways to deeper connection; connection to our self and to our tribe, local and global.
We’re all wired a bit differently, but it goes something like this:
The dream guy makes you feeling more connected to love and self worth.
The sexy toned body connects you to feeling desirable and confident.
Extra $ in the bank opens the door to connection with the infinite number of possibilities you can buy with all that cash.
The island get-a-way with your sweetheart equals connection to cool surf, warm sand, and the juiciest parts of both of you that only come out to play in the spaciousness created by island time.
The shiny new car connects you to feelings of freedom, confidence, and success.
Professional opportunities create connection to challenges that are yearning to meet up with your unique genius.
And on and on it goes. Creating healthy nourishing connections is a key elements to accomplishing anything and everything: a loving and supportive romantic partnership, professional success, jaw dropping creative expansion, and more influence or affluence in your life. Connection is the key element that empowers creative manifestation in every area of life.
It is the full tank of gas on your long awaited road trip.
We yearn for connection because when we feel connected, life gets better. Not just a tad bit better, but exponentially, extravagantly, way, way, better.
When we are wholeheartedly connected we feel like we are plugged in, turned on, and shining in all our glory.
My wish for you this holiday season...
Deeper and more authentic connection in every situation; with the barista you will never cross paths with again, and with the toxic family member who drives you absolutely crazy at every holiday gathering. It all matters, and it all offers another vast opportunity for wholehearted connection.
Holding you in the heart of love,
As we approach the Winter Solstice here in the Western Hemisphere, the vibrant life giving force of the Sun is so clearly waning. Our souls know it. Our bodies feel it.
This year more than ever before, I am yearning for the warmth and light of a bright new season.
This fall has been hard. Full of shadows and conflict, rising hate and collapsing hope. I long for happier times, as do so many.
I am tired of politics. I am tired of conflict. I am tired of feeling that this human drama is taking another wrong turn.
Yet, in the time of long shadows, we stop denying the darkness that has always been here. In these trying times, the distance between the ideals we hold and what is unfolding right before our eyes is too big to grasp and hold, or make any real sense of.
We have all been stretched a bit too thin in recent weeks. I have fought for the light and prayed for the good until I was exhausted, fed up, and angry.
I have asked again and again in recent months: Where is the bold and loving new world I have been dreaming of and working to create since I was a child?
After having many restless nights, deep and jarring discussions with friends, and a few dips into hopelessness, I have found a new peace.
I have claimed this peace through surrender.
Not through surrendering to one side or another, but by surrendering to a greater force that embraces and includes the black and the white, the red and the blue, and all that lives within these polarities. I surrender, again and yet again, to the messy and sometimes painful process of birthing this bold new world.
I surrender, and I humbly bow to the vast creative power that sparked this magnificent life in the first place.
I surrender to the great unknown, and trust that amidst all the strife and craziness, everything really is all right.
I trust in living with my eyes wide open, embracing all with a heart that knows no bounds.
I trust in the small acts of goodness that are quietly healing the broken human heart which has felt so much suffering.
I trust in the returning light that is, in this very moment, giving birth to a whole new world. Right in the midst all this trauma and drama.
Standing in this eternal light,
Today I have a awesome gift for you that I'm really excited about. I think you'll be excited about it too.
If you're like most people, you sometimes feel like you aren't enough in some significant way or another. Maybe this shows up for you as not feeling good enough, or smart enough, or sexy enough, or wealthy enough, ad nauseum!
I have found traces of “not enough” in every client I have ever worked with. It lies at the heart of most relationship and financial challenges. It blocks bold and exuberant creativity, and the natural celebratory spirit that accompanies realistic achievement.
The good news is that there are ways to release yourself from the insidious grasp of this often covert issue so you can deeply realize and express your innate beauty, brilliance, and strength.
When this core issue is consciously worked with, everything else in your life improves. I mean everything!
Because of the pervasive nature of this challenge, I have created an online course to help my clients get free from the grip of "not enough". Today, I'm offering the course to you: Let Go of Feeling Like You're "Not Enough" So You Can Confidently Claim Your Unique Beauty, Value, and Brilliance.
This online course will be offered free of charge for a limited time.
Yes, you got that right.... it's totally free. And you can participate in the coziness of your own home. There's nothing to buy, and no where to drive. How can you resist that?
Sign up by clicking the link below. Get it today because it won't be available for long.
The invention and wide spread use of PCs was definitely a game changer. The world wide web was another game changer that most people couldn't have imagined not that many years ago. The iPhone was another game changing technology that has radically changed the way we live, connect, and create.
It is hard to imagine what communication was like before these game changing technologies became as commonplace as telephones, paper, and pens.
Most of us are plugged in most of the time now. Maybe you love your devices and all they do for you, or maybe you simply tolerate their necessary presence in our cyber drenched, fast-paced culture. Either way, there is no denying their usefulness in our day-to-day lives.
In recent years, these kind of rapid advancements in technology has been happening in many other areas as well. In medicine (think X-ray to MRI), in transportation (the gas guzzling 1960s station wagon to the new Tesla), and also in the area of psychospiritual growth and transformation.
In this field, which I so dearly love, powerful game changing technologies have emerged that can radically changing the way we live and grow. There are innovative new techniques available to reduce stress, rewire your brain, and heal unhealthy relationships patterns so you can experience greater health, well being, and happiness. These innovative techniques can help you choose more positive and life enhancing responses to day-to-day challenges.
These powerful tools are key elements in the emerging field of Energy Psychology, which is being hailed as a powerful new force in individual and collective transformation.
One of the keynotes of Energy Psychology is that it can actually change your physiological responses to stress, leaving you calmer and more capable of finding healthy, life enhancing solutions when challenges inevitably arise on a day-to-day basis.
In 50 peer reviewed scientific studies of numerous techniques of Energy Psychology, there were positive outcomes in 48 of those studies!
These are overwhelmingly positive results, suggesting Energy Psychology is a power force for healing and growth.
I have found Energy Psychology techniques to be powerful tools for creating rapid positive changes in my life and in the lives of my clients. Energy Psychology has helped clear long standing, debilitating issues for my clients, sometimes in as little as one or two sessions. These techniques are easy to learn and practice with a trained guide. Once you have been taught the techniques, you can use them on your own to accelerate your growth, healing, and awakening. Contact me if you would like to explore this leading edge psychospiritual technology.
In recent weeks I have been taking plenty of time to travel, play, rest and rejuvenate. A lighter summertime schedule has given me more time to read, reflect, and to just be.
I’m home now, feeling deeply renewed and inspired by the growth and deep embodiment that have unfolded over the past few years, in my life and in the lives of my clients.
This is definitely a time for unveiling your unique brilliance, and daring to more purely and powerfully share who you are. We are all being called to do more of what really lights us up, and to empower others in the process.
Doors that have long been tightly closed are now ready to open wide for those who choose the way of liberation and creative contribution. The more we authentically step up and into fresh territory, the more we quite naturally become a catalyst for others to do the same.
I wonder, what is opening your bold and beautiful heart these days? Are you giving yourself permission to courageously follow your fiery inspiration? What inner impulses are you saying “YES” to?
Today I’m sharing what has been opening my heart and mind during these long, warm days of midsummer.
What I’m grateful for…
The opportunity to love deeply. This week marks the three year anniversary of the unexpected passing of my beloved partner. Since that day, I have faced the grieving process head on, over and over again, only to find ever brighter love, gratitude, and appreciation for the opportunity to intimately know and love, and be known and loved by a truly courageous and wise soul. It was, and continues to be, an honor to stand as one with Douglas Brady.
What I’m celebrating….
Having the opportunity to officiate at the wedding of my daughter later this month. There is so much joy in our family right now as we prepare for this grand love fest. As a mother, officiating will be the powerful completion of a cycle of nurturing my daughter’s growth in a very active way. It is fulfilling and exciting to joyfully release her into a new cycle of life with a loving man by her side. This is definitely a summer of love!
What I’m reading…
There is much written about emotionally dysfunctional relationships, yet this thought provoking article offers a clear and refreshing take on what is is like to be an emotionally healthy grown up:
With fiery love,
I recently returned to my home in Northern California after traveling for several weeks, visiting family, friends and clients, working along the way. There were so many highlights from my travels; warm holiday celebrations with family, the engagement of my daughter to a man I adore, long savory meals with dear friends, celebrating my birthday with a lively dance party, and laughter galore. It was also deeply nourishing to enjoy city life and all it has to offer — the stimulation of new art, concerts, and fabulous meals; and to appreciate the beauty and serenity of nature during beach walks, hikes in the coastal hills, and hot air ballooning over wine country at sunrise.
As I savor the afterglow of my trip, a Danish word comes to mind — hygge (pronounced ‘hooga’), which loosely translates as a mental state of “togetherness” and “coziness.” According to Denmark’s official tourism site: “The warm glow of candlelight is hygge. Enjoying family and friends is hygge too. And let’s not forget eating and drinking — preferably sitting around the table for hours on end discussing the big and the small things of life.” Appreciating and cultivating hygge explains why the Danish people consistently rank among the happiest people in the world.
When you think of hygge, think warm, fuzzy, happy heart; think of everyone you really, really love, laughing in a puppy pile on a soft fluffy cloud drinking hot cocoa.
Awe, hygge…. that cozy feeling that emerges in the warmth of loving connection.
One day towards the end of my trip, I had the sweet revelation that a fuller experience of hygge had become my new normal. Rather then hygge being a momentary experience sparked by warm and loving encounters, it was pulsing through me in a new way — as a sweet, silent offering, gently enriching every moment.
Each person I visited had been a catalyst for the fuller expression of hygge that spontaneously emerged within me.
I am home now, sitting alone on this rainy winter morning, yet hygge reigns in my head and heart, and even down to my toes. Hygge is holding steady as a whole being lovefest within and all around me. Even during the moments when I feel frustration, or fear, or disconnection, an undercurrent of hygge remains. I have a new understanding of this state, which transcends and yet includes momentary feelings of warmth, coziness and safety.
Hygge is the natural state of our hearts and souls, embodied and felt as loving unity with all life.
In this delicious connected state, so many day-to-day concerns and problems seem to drop away. In a state of hygge, every encounter and sensory experience takes on a new richness as warmth prevails.
Cultivating this deeply connected and satisfying inner sense so that it blossoms into a whole-being sustainable experience is an opportunity that lies before us all. Doing the inner work of healing and awakening is a vital part of this process because it helps create a fertile field where hygge is likely to emerge and expand. Doing your inner work is like putting compost on your garden. When you enrich the soil, you know whatever grows there will be more resilient, fruitful and beautiful.
The really exciting part of this hygge process is that when this inner cozy state emerges in new ways, it naturally enhances our relationships.
Our inner condition sets the tone for our relationships. Integrated Energy Psychology has proven to be a powerful catalyst for growth and healing, which creates a fertile field for authentic loving connection to naturally arise and expand in relationships.
If you are intrigued by the possibility of deepening your experience of hygge, I would love to support you in this process.
With big love and warm blessings,
Are you letting lingering pain and disappointment from your previous love relationships get in the way of experiencing deep love and connection in your life right now?
Have you grieved your last relationship breakup so you can fully and joyfully open to new love and deeper intimacy?
Divorce or relationship breakups can leave you feeling hurt, sad, disappointed, and angry. Yet when you face these painful emotions and uncover the hidden lessons and wisdom within them, you quite naturally open to love and connection again.
When the natural grieving process related to ending a relationship is interrupted or incomplete, new love rarely blossoms. Unresolved emotions block your heart and keep you from opening to love again. In the aftermath of unresolved relationship grief, many people experience years of intermittent emotional pain and/or numbness, subsequent unfulfilling relationships, and deep loneliness.
Fortunately, there is a way to heal and resolve painful relationship wounds so you can be truly free to love again, more fully than ever before.
Integrated Energy Psychology and Relationship Coaching provides a proven pathway to heals the wounds that are keeping you from having the love and connection you want in your life now – in romantic partnership and in all of your relationships.
Through a powerful seven step process, we can work together to heal and dramatically expand your capacity to love anew – whether in your current love relationship, or by attracting a new partner.
This individualized clearing process works to clear pain from past relationships whether you recently ended a love relationship, or if the breakup or divorce happened years ago.
Periodically I offer a limited number of free introductory Energy Psychology and Relationship Coaching session to those in my cyber community. This is an opportunity to experience first hand how this leading edge process can support you in moving forward and opening to greater love and connection.
If you would like to explore how this work can give you the psychospiritual tools, support, and guidance you need to heal the pain of the past and step into new love, deeper intimacy, and partnership, please don't hesitate to send me an email.
Because we all deserve to generously love and be loved.
With big love,
I feel deeply humble these days after coming through a challenging time. A few weeks ago I was brought to my knees by a nasty winter bug. After wrestling with this illness for over two weeks, I finally emerged triumphant and healthy. Yet the healing process was not easy.
I am usually the one who doesn't get sick.
When everyone around me is dropping like flies, I keep on flying. I once went 15+ years without a cold or flu. When I start to feel sick, I simply shift into healing high gear. Out comes the elderberry syrup, echinacea tea, and vitamin C. I go to bed early, do energy healing on myself, and by morning all is usually well.
Well, not this year. I was absolutely miserable for over two weeks with headaches, fatigue, body aches, interrupted sleep, a nasty cough, and endless congestion. This doesn't sound so bad, does it? Just an ordinary winter bug, right?
To get an idea of just how bad I felt, tune in to day six. As I tossed and turned in the middle of a very long sleepless night, I actually had the thought, "Am I ever going to feel better? This is as bad as childbirth!" I was stuck in that place where you feel like the pain and misery is never going to end. If you have ever been in labor or stood by someone giving birth, you know exactly what I mean.
What made this ordinary illness so miserable that it was reminiscent of child birth?
Drum roll here……. ISOLATION. I have lived alone since my beloved passed away over a year ago. Though I am normally very social and have many loving people in my life, when I was ill I stayed in bed for over ten days. Alone. My only contact was with my acupuncturist and a friend who brought over chicken broth and tissues. When the phone rang, I had little energy to answer it. My emails stacked up. I felt utterly alone in my misery.
This was definitely self imposed isolation. I have friends and family who would have come in an instant if I had reached out. Yet I didn't have the energy to do so. And I certainly didn't want to expose anyone to this nasty bug.
So I stayed home…. alone, alone, alone.
Coughing. Blowing. Sneezing. Sniffing. Alone, alone, alone.
We've all been sick and somehow made it through. Of course, I made it through and now feel good again. Looking back I see that the despite the misery and the days in bed, there was a great gift in this experience.
This illness reminded me that the most powerful healing force is loving connection with others.
When a friend dropped off groceries, my pain eased. When I saw my acupuncturist, my pain eased. When a friend came to walk my dog, my pain eased.
The moment we reach out and share our pain with others, light rushes into the raw and tender parts within us that are in need of healing.
This is true with different kinds of pain -- physical, emotional, or mental. As I write, this seems rather obvious. Yet it is worth shouting from the rooftops.
Even though we may know the most powerful healing force is loving connection, our competitive, consumer-oriented culture encourages and celebrates the lone-wolf mentality. The accomplishments of the ones who are in the limelight are often honored more than the team that stands behind them. We often feel like we have to tough it out on our own, rather than humbly ask for the support we need. This is slowly changing as humanity evolves, yet we have all been conditioned by the lone-wolf mentality, which often inhibits our capacity to reach out when we are in pain.
We all have pockets of pain and suffering that are seldom, if ever, shared.
Yet there can be tremendous liberation in sharing these tender parts with a compassionate listener. Today, I invite you to bring light to those painful places within that need love and compassion by embracing the process of inquiry and asking a few simple questions….
In what areas of life do I need to reach out for empathy and support?
What feelings am I suffering alone with?
Who can I call upon to hold a loving space for my pain, without trying to fix it?
By facing our own tender painful parts and opening to the care and compassion that is all around us, we create a loving, compassionate healing space for ourselves that is much bigger than our isolated pain.
And don't forget to ask these questions as well…
Who around me is suffering alone?
Who needs my attention, love and compassion?
How can I be there to help ease their pain and suffering?
By extending loving attention and empathy to others, we become a mighty healing force, sending waves of love around the planet. So let's use all this vibrant Spring energy to reach out and do this for each other, bigger and bolder than ever before.
Shining big love,
P.S. I'm here for you.
A fresh start…
I feel brighter just writing these powerful words. Rich images come to mind. The soft smooth skin of a newborn baby; the first daffodils that raise their tender green leaves in early spring; the warm feeling of reconciliation after a disagreement with your beloved; a crisp clean piece of watercolor paper eager to be filled with your inspiration.
A fresh start is so juicy because for just a moment we stand in a powerful place where anything is possible, where our inner inspiration can be expressed in new ways upon the fresh canvas of our lives.
Imagine living every day in this fresh clear place of infinite possibility.
Close your eyes, take a deep full breath and really do this…
Imagine a day with no unfinished business, no painful memories, no projections about the people around you, and best of all, no preconceived ideas about who you are and what you can accomplish. Imagine leaving behind your old dysfunctional patterns of behavior, and replacing them with fuller presence, love, and expanded creative potential.
Take a moment and savor this possibility for your life, not just as a random experience, but as a way of life. We touch upon this rich fresh quality now and then, but imagine it being part of every single day. Pretty awesome to think about, isn’t it?
This is the gift of Energy Psychology. This emerging new field offers leading edge transformational technology that is changing millions of lives for the better.
Energy Psychology is based upon the premise that negative emotions and behavior patterns are the result of blockages in a person’s energy system. As energy blockages are cleared, the natural healing force within is activated. You then experience a “clean slate”, and a renewed capacity to step gracefully out of the old patterns and emotions that no longer serve you.
Some techniques of Energy Psychology include stimulating pressure points in the body’s meridian system with gentle pressure. Acupuncturists have been stimulating points in the meridian system to restore health and well being to the physical body for thousands of years. It is now possible to use acupressure points to restore emotional and psychological health and well being as well.
Clearing these energy blockages is often a rapid and graceful process that can be attained without doing years of therapy or feeling re-traumatized by the past.
You can’t change the past, but you can change the imprint it has left on you.
Energy Psychology offers proven techniques to heal and release negative emotions and imprints that hinder your capacity to create healthy, fulfilling relationships in your life right now.
The really good news is that these innovative techniques are being tried and tested through a multitude of scientific studies. There is now solid research to prove the effectiveness of these innovative EP techniques. Energy Psychology professional skills courses are now accepted for continuing education credits for PhD psychologists by the American Psychological Association! This is fabulous news because the APA has incredibly high standards. Research is proving that Energy Psychology is valid and highly effective.
Leading edge Energy Psychology techniques are a vital part of my practice as a relationship coach and energy therapist. I use them to help clients heal and transform the issues that get in the way of experiencing fulfilling, loving relationships with all of the people in their lives.
In a relatively short time, you can even learn to do some of the Energy Psychology techniques yourself so you can clear challenging emotions that arise in day to day life.
Remember that clean slate you imagined a few minutes ago?
Now close your eyes again and imagine having a clean slate in every one of your relationships…
Imagine… all of your past expectations and grievances gone.
Imagine… any sadness or guilt, regrets or mistakes related to your relationships completely healed and transformed. You still remember the past, yet you have forgiven and released old grievances, learned from them, and are willing to start anew…
Imagine… gracefully transforming or releasing those relationships that no longer serve you….
Imagine… being able to create new kinds of relationships based upon the present, and who you are now…
And best of all, imagine love and compassion quite naturally flowing onto your fresh blank canvas!
This month I am offering a limited number of introductory energy psychology phone sessions at no charge. This is an opportunity for you to explore this innovative new way to create lasting and profound change for the better. If you are interested in trying this powerfully transformative process, simply send me an email to schedule an appointment.
With love and gratitude,
An energy therapist, relationship and spiritual life coach, Ariana is a lover of love in all of its many delicious forms; self love, couples love, family love, community love and ultimately, the universal love that pervades all.