Two years ago the love of my life unexpectedly passed way. He was an extraordinary man of great wisdom, depth, character, lightness and laughter. He was one of those amazing people everyone loves. His death was sudden and completely unexpected.
This was the most devastating experience of my life.
The first couple of months after he passed were filled with loving people and constant activity as we collectively said good by to a brave and beautiful man. Friends and family were immensely supportive and loving during those really hard times right after he passed.
Months later I fell into deep despair and depression, feeling as if the pain would never go away. The shock and pain of holding my beloved in my arms as he made his transition wracked my body. I was stuck in a deep, dark place I had never experienced before.
At times I didn’t want to go on without him. This was a totally new feeling for me, as I am optimistic and forward thinking by nature. This was the greatest challenge I ever faced.
I was afraid I may get caught in this intense grief and never feel joy again.
The thought of never recovering from this devastating loss haunted me. I could feel my life and interests getting smaller and more contracted as each day passed by. Most of the time I simply noticed this happening, but part of me knew I had to turn it around. I knew I had a whole lot more living to do. Yet I was so stuck in the sadness I didn’t know how to turn it around. There was no way to avoid this intense pain and loneliness. Instinctively I knew that the only way out of the suffering was to go through it.
In light of this, I decided to embrace the grieving process in every way I possibly could. I created a daily grieving practice for myself, utilizing many of the healing and transformational tools I have used with my clients for many years as an energy therapist, relationship coach and healer.
Deeply committed to moving forward and healing, I took a deep dive into loss and grief.
The shift was immediate and profound.
As soon as I started doing these grieving processes, my depression lightened. Peaceful spaces began to be interspersed with the deep longing to hold my beloved, to see his beautiful smile, and to hear his laughter again.
As my healing progressed, previously painful memories began to be accompanied by deep gratitude and joy for the love we shared. I began to feel the profound gifts within his death, for myself and for others in his life. Eventually I began to feel acceptance for what had happen.
As I continued on with these grieving processes, deep love and appreciation filled the raw places where loss and anger once thrived.
Most significant of all, instead of feeling like a victim of his death, I knew that sharing my beloved’s life and death were the greatest gifts I have ever received.
The more I accepted his death, the more I felt his love and presence still with me. I came to deeply and irrefutably know he would always be in my heart and always be my beloved companion, yet in a different way than I had imagined. With that realization, my grief turned to gratitude for having the opportunity to love and be loved by him.
As I more fully embraced my grief, my heart continued to open and expand.
As I lifted out of these dark times, I became keenly aware that many other people have experienced deep relationship losses, yet have not fully grieved and healed.
Most people have multiple significant unresolved relationship losses in their lives.
These losses can come from the death of a loved one, a divorce or break up, or even an experience of abandonment (emotional or physical) as a child. Sadly, our culture does not fully honor or create space for deep grieving. We often pay a very high price for not accepting and healing our relationship losses, individually and collectively.
Depression and the inability to create new healthy, supportive and loving relationships are common results of unresolved relationship loss.
As I healed, I knew I had to share the journey I had been through, and support others in grieving and healing so they could experience greater acceptance, peace, love and connection. Deep grief can be transformed into an infinite source of love and gratitude, yet we sometimes get stuck in our healing journey.
In light of this, I am offer a Love and Loss Healing Intensive to help those who have experienced relationship losses.
This six session intensive is designed to be a catalyst in the healing process so you can move forward, rapidly and gracefully, with the one-to-one support you need, without feeling retraumatized by your loss.
In the Love and Loss Healing Intensive, you will be guided through leading edge energy psychology techniques that have helped millions of people all over the world.
For a limited time, I’m offering a complimentary phone session to those interested in healing their relationship losses, whether those losses are brand new, raw and tender; or they happen years ago.
This introductory consultation is an opportunity to discover if the Love and Loss Healing Intensive is right for you. It can be done by phone from anywhere in the world, or in person in Northern California. It can be done over the course of a weekend, or in weekly or bi-weekly sessions.
If you are interested in transforming the pain around your relationship losses and expanding your capacity to live and love more fully, please contact me via return email to schedule an introductory session.
We all know someone who is broken hearted about a relationship loss. Please pass this message on to friends or family members who are grieving a relationship loss (or avoiding grieving). This simple act could be the catalyst that is needed to help alleviate their pain and suffering.
With love and deep gratitude,
An energy therapist, relationship and spiritual life coach, Ariana is a lover of love in all of its many delicious forms; self love, couples love, family love, community love and ultimately, the universal love that pervades all.